Easy Way Out.

mau usaha kayak apa juga, ga ada ceritanya saya bisa tidur cepat.

funny thing is, i'm no longer jobless, i work 10AM - 6PM every fucking day, but the moment i got home, no matter how tired i was at the office, i feel energized as soon as i open the laptop and scouring the internet.

i have nothing against my job, really, enjoy it very much especially after i got thee gist of it, the rhythm, after i biologically make it a routine, everything going well. maybe this is the introvert in me, there's nothing more energizing than being alone, reading random shit on the internet and ends up with existential crisis at 11PM right before i go to sleep.

like i said last year, having a job gave you no time for new knowledge, you spent probably 12 hours a day thinking about your job, another 6 about basic day to day life like whether i can save enough money for my kids school admission, or will you get that sex your wife promised you last week, and if you're lucky, 6 hours of sleep.

you have no time to learn that you can think religion is stupid, but what the religious people feel about their religion is real, as real as my feeling towards toyota 86.

you have no time to think that maybe, just maybe, there's no definitive superman.

then you ask why are people so religious, because it's damn easier just reading one book and made that you moral compass, instead of starting tabula rasa, reading thousands of books and create your own sets of morality.

it's the easy way out.

now seeing all this mumbo jumbo about December 2nd Protest in Jakarta, and to some extend Donald Trump, Senator Finch's word from batman v superman rings truer than ever, that democracy is a discussion, we talk to each other, but then again discussion is 2 way communication, won't matter much when one side is screaming one thing, the other screaming another.

no i need to allocate time on my weekend to watch batman v superman.

Richard Sanderson - Reality

another year, another friends are getting married - two in as many months! - and hopefully i can attend both, because both are very dear to me, and i only attend my close friend's marriage, sekedar satu angkatan or friend of a friend won't cut it.

one thing i realized from my friend and work colleague, their marriage days is not all shits and bubbles, most of them about sharing responsibility, who do what tonight, etc. one of my friends had to delay his honeymoon because his company is a shithole of a company with only 12 vacation days, and he is not a particularly rich guy so they have to buy the cheapest tickets available.

i need to go out more, because right now i'm in a echo chamber of upper middle class, those who after wedding reception on saturday, already on a plane to their honeymoon vacation on sunday morning, and not a cheap location either.

or can already afford a home/apartment the next week after their reception.

because admit it, people won't share their home after marriage if their home is 5x5 kostan in the middle of south jakarta.

the reality is not like that, lots of them have to stay with their parents.

i mean it's obvious as fucks, and why the fuck i just realized it now.

but either way, to get to that stage - marriage, duh - one have to have  significant other first, and before that, liking someone, and this i have not feel since 2009-2010 season - bola kali coy.

banyak sebenarnya yg bertanya kok saya tidak membuat effort untuk mencari pasangan, dan biasanya saya balas dengan argument whether it is cost effective and financially responsible for me to date with my current salary and current job, and at what point a date is turning from something fun to something of an investment.

i mean yes, majority of females doesn't need din tai fung for dinner, but just going to date could cost me at least 300k from gasoline to parking to food, and that's we're splitting the bills.

like i said in my previous post, i entered college with vigor and optimism of a teenage, and went out with jadedness of an adult. i'm not avoiding relationship and commitment, but i'm not actively seeking either, too busy with my own world, i mean is there any women out there wants to watch Planet Earth II on weekend and enjoying the soothing voice of Sir David Attenborough?

i mean, where do these people find time AND person for this relationship thingy? i wake up at 7, go to work at 8, arrive at 9, work till 6 but went home at 7 because fuck traffic, arrive at 8, dinner - bath - checking news and twitter - until 10, then go to sleep.

WHERE AND WHEN BROH, WHERE AND WHEN?

weekend? fuck i'm not going out every weekend when i already out from Mon to Fri.

i guess my mindset is wrong.

maybe i should use tinder.

or maybe i'll end up single and driving a nice car at 30s because i don't have a family to worry about.

Half-Hiatus, Probably.

i'm going to take half-hiatus from social media bar twitter, because twitter is awesome, where you share your thoughts instead of you hedonistic consumption of capitalism - well, you could argue that you could still share your hedonistic consumption on twitter, you're a minority in that, because twitter is text-based social media.

i guess i just got to that point, to the point of actually feeling sick opening instagram and path.

unfunny memes, misleading hoax, and most of the time, your highly censored life.

i mean, you wouldn't share the fact that now you're currently drinking coffee, but instead of starbucks, it's luwak white coffee, aka the best coffee in the whole alfamart.

to be perfectly honest, i don't know why this thing bothers me so much, maybe there's a bit of envy - i mean i'm working 9-5 while some of my friends are pursuing their dream while travelling in europe - maybe it's just a problem of oversharing pointless stuff.

i mean you don't have to record yourself having a chat with your friends on snapchat. i mean there's your friends right there, in front of your face, and you chose to record that and share it to the world, and for what?

because i've never, for a second, thought about recording my hangouts with my friends, because i actually enjoy having my friends with me, and there's no point of sharing that with the world, who probably couldn't care less about me.

i mean taking a picture while you're at senayan city? it's fucking senayan city, i understand if it's in the middle of amstedam centraal, or at any other touristy spots, but a fucking mall? are you fucking kidding me.

maybe probably because what i deem fun - my hobbies - are not necessarily a cool hobbies.

i mean i understand if you're sharing something worth sharing.

i understand sharing you're having a vacation.

i understand sharing your life changing events, and as much as i hate marriage institution, it's perfectly acceptable to share your marriage photos.

kids, well, not once a day, i don't want to know - most people don't want to know - and your children is not as cute as you think they are.

a meeting with friends after a long time, an actual event instead of you routine twice a week meetups with your circle.

but please not selfies, you're not velove vexia, which after following her for a month, i even got sick of her face, and she is beautiful.

please not stupid vaping photos, i get it, i know it, you fucking vape, get fucking over it.

tl, dr; i'm tired, i'm sick of it, i'm sick of seeing your censored life when probably your real day to day life is not that good.

i think i'll reinstate instagram sooner, because hashtags means you can share your hobby with likeminded people, because admit it, you add people on path because you know them personally and rejecting their friends request is rude, and admit it, most of your friends, are your friends, because you happen to go to the same school/college/kosan/office with them rather than actually finding them interesting.

so there's that, i'm tired.