Sabtu, 07 April 2018

Fuck

Dating after 25 is hard as fuck.

Knowing I only have one reader - Hi Lun - might as well talk about dating here.

Let's go.

So I'm 27 this year, most of my friends are either married or in a committed relationship, so it is hard to hangout, thank god I'm perfectly comfortable going alone, but I guess sometimes you want that old school camaraderie, enjoying each other company without thinking much, but I guess thinking much comes with age and the responsibility that comes with it.

I guess - I'm doing a lot of guessing here - this is exactly why I'm starting to think about getting a girlfriend, I guess, or at least a date.

A date with coworker is strictly prohibited, but coworker's friends is okay, but coworker's friends is also either married or in a committed relationship, lots of em.

So me being tried and tested guy, thinking about approaching some old friends that I think is pretty fun to be around with, but nah after not talking for probably a decade and suddenly ask to hangout is weird as fuck.

I mean let's go back to college days, the circumstances helps a lot, meeting new people and having a crush here and there is accepted and even expected in college, in work? not so much.

I guess I'm currently can't see a scenario where suddenly I met someone and thinking "oh she's great, need to approach her"

Well, that kind of thinking never comes into my mind, those "wow she's great will chat her first", in every single crush that I've experienced, it's always about the small moments that makes me "oh shit she's awesome", after accumulating probably hundreds of other small moments.

I mean, I'm okay doing shits alone, but I'm at that phase where I feel like I need that connection, and the responsibilities and trade offs that come with it.

Fuck being drunk, fuck having all these defenses down and vulnerable as fuck. 



Minggu, 25 Maret 2018

Weekend Rant Draft #sekian

I've read somewhere that humility is the best quality one can have, and in my opinion, it's the hardest to attain.

Because humility is about knowing where you are in this world, assessing yourself objectively by your own standard, and assessing yourself against society standards.

Thinking that you're the smartest person in the room is arrogance, but thinking you're pretty smart but also understands and aware that someone in the room is probably smarter than you is humility.

And placing yourself somewhat accurately in the hierarchy - if there is any? - will do you a lot of good.

I think with humility, you can also create a good balance in yourself, and not beat yourself too much if something goes somewhat wrong in your life.

With humility you can assess whether you're punching above your weight - great for you! - or underperforming, or even performing as expected which is fine.

Humility is about balance, I think, and with humility, you're a little bit closer to knowing yourself.


---

Pacific Rim: Uprising is here, with it, the extremely polarized movie discussions arrived.

In my office, the questions is whether the movie is bad or really bad, and I think that questions reeks lack of gratitude and of course it's a fucking snobbish question.

let me quote the Pauline Kael - in which I found on Roger Ebert's review of Gamera 

“Movies are so rarely great art that if we cannot appreciate great trash we have very little reason to be interested in them.”

A lot of movie is bad, most movies are average at best, and only time will tell whether a movie will be considered as greats - usually Criterion Collection is an indication.

One must be able to differentiate a good movie and a good movie going experience, as Ebert put it in his review of Gamera.

Transformers is not a good movie, but it's a good movie going experience. So does all those disney movies all these people love dearly, they're average at best, but you're having a good time with it.

The best of movies in my opinion is movies that changed you, give you some sort of feeling of wonder, thinking, "Thank God I watch this movie", it's the kind of movies that transcends entertainment, and trying to say something.

And for me, I have experienced this feeling while movies ranged from Schindler's List, Wall - E, and Batman v Superman, to Speed Racer, Power Rangers, and Summer Wars.

I guess what bothers me the most is the insistence of watching some movies just to proof your expectation of how bad it can be. I mean yeah it's your money, but 35k can be use to buy McSpicy Chicken instead of a ticket to a movie you know you'll hate long before the movie came out.

And under this logic, I'm against putting a score to a movie, I mean Speed Racer is fucking 9 in my eyes for a lot of reason that I can articulate but you know how is the general opinion right?

It's like comparing Makoto Shinkai's Garden of Words to Mazinger Z: Infinity. One is trying to push the boundaries of animation, the other is another fun action anime movie.

It's like calling Watchmen a Superhero Movies and Romeo and Juliette a Romance. Both movies are tragedies.

We, at first, have to assess the purpose of the filmmaker, who is the target audience, is it an oscar bait? or is it a no holds barred fun action flick? And from there we judge them accordingly, or you can just enjoy it, or not, it's up to you.

OH AND WHAT BOTHERS ME THE MOST

Is that these rotten tomatoes snob doesn't even watch the basic movie snob watch list. One of my friends is a huge fan of Rotten Tomatoes, loves Nolan, Edgar Wright, and Wes Anderson.

Then he asked me what is my favorite romance movie, knowing this is a snob game, I told him "Before Sunset", he haven't watch it.

I mean if you're trying to be a snob, go full snob, watch movies from 70s, Lawrence of Arabia, 2001: A Space Odyssey, A Clockwork Orange, The Shining, all those Kubrick shit.

I mean in my snobbish days, I even watch Schindler's List, and I unknowingly fell in love with it.

I'll say it again, if you want to be a snob, go full snob, only watch oscar bait movie.

Minggu, 04 Februari 2018

pikabu

Menurut tab explore di instagram saya, hari ini adalah wisuda UI.

Kemudian saya ngescroll profile instagram saya, ga ada foto wisuda saya.

Saya scroll hape saya, juga ga ada foto wisuda saya.

Waktu mau wisuda dulu saya pernah ngepost kalau saya ga segitu semangatnya ikut wisuda, sudah terlalu lelah kuliah, sudah kerja juga waktu itu.

Rasanya ya ga perlu aja gitu, I'm not into ceremonial thingy.

Mungkin kalau saya wisuda bareng orang-orang seperjuangan mungkin masih semangat, ini hampir sendiri.

saya juga inget baju yang saya pake, karena kemarin baru saya pake ke kantor.

Kemeja biru, jins hitam, cuma beda sepatu.

Ini gatau siapa yang salah kok bisa begini, apa orang tua saya juga ga pernah gimana2 soal wisuda, karena saya inget teman2 saya pada pake jas, dan itu toga dipake seharian sampe sore.

I hate toga, impractical, the only reason we still use toga because those so called academics wants it, academics are big on tradition.

Sebenernya agak menyesal sedikit tidak punya satupun foto wisuda, but then life goes on, nobody ask anyway.

-----------------------

Sejak diet dengan segala effort dan self control - imagine having to constantly checking what you eat every fucking day for 6 months - akhirnya tembus target 75kg, sekarang 74,5 kalo abis pup.

I realized one thing, I can actually achieve shits if i put effort into it.

sure, I'm not going to change suddenly into some sort of overly ambitious bastards, but I won't be a liar when people ask me why the fuck I wear the same shirt everyday.

Instead of acting high and mighty, I just tell them "I don't consider what I wear Important enough for me to put an effort of choosing what to wear"

I don't have decision fatigue, I'm not mark zuckerberg, I'm just lazy.