I don't know how long it usually takes for someone to be disillusioned by a lot of things, but I guess 29 years old is quite young.
I guess growing up in a less than ideal environment can be one of the factors.
Ignorance is bliss, they say, and I can agree with that. Living a life where you only know what you experience, basically, an isolated life, can be good to your mental health, I guess, this is me ranting, I don't have a fucking study to cite here. But you're less likely to have a condition where you have to face your demon face to face, like crying in a blanket in the middle of the night listening to nostalgic songs from your better days.
But I don't have that luxury, it's not like I made a conscious effort to be empathetic, to care about things like social justice and climate issues, but it was there, I have to care about it, not caring about it makes me a piece of shit.
Probably because I'm privileged enough to have a good grasp of more than one language, and that other language is English, you know? The International language? Like every single knowledge available would have a version of an English translation of it. So I know things can be better, it'd have to be better. It's not like we're the first country in the world, there are hundreds available for us to learn from, it's like trying to do something yourself, denying any form of help, where if you asked/receive that help, things could have been a lot easier.
There are a lot of things that people already know what the best practice is, sure some adaptation might be needed to make sure it works best for our specific cases, but sure it would have been easier compared to starting from the ground up.
My friends think I'm a pessimistic, if not completely chaotic person, but I'd like to think I'm an idealistic person, a disappointed idealist.
I'm a self-proclaimed commitment-phobic, if that is even a word, mostly because I have commitment issues caused by childhood trauma, the other reason would be to commit yourself to this goddamn country is a bad life decision, and thanks to 29 years of moving houses here and there, I have a pretty flexible concept/idea about what a home is.
