fuck jouska

Having been in a shitty family financial condition for the past 4 years or so, I started to equal value with money. You know, mau ketemu temen ngitung ongkos banget padahal intinya bukan itu. 

That I started to obsessively promise myself, when I have extra money, I'll save it all. 

Fun fact, it doesn't work like that. 

You spent as wise as you can, spent first on your need. 

So you need few extra bucks to get that slight better laptop? Go get it, it'll last for a while that you forget you spend it in the first place.

You need shoes? Spent as much as you can for quality shoes, sure don't spend it on 3million ultra boost, but 900k for entry Nike react makes sense. 

Save as much as you can without hurting yourself psychologically, and spent as much as you can without hurting your financial safety net. 

I;m gonna publish this post just because

I think I finally find someone weird enough that I can ignore any normal approaching technique, well, I can throw away any regard of normalcy with her.

I think I wrote something about what I value in life is different from what probably most people consider valuable, to quote myself, 

"And my friend just asked, "so hows *insert the girl's name*"

Then I answer with a rant of how I feel that how I see life is too out there for society's standard that makes me not a good candidate for marriage."

She's the first one that did not ask, "mikir apa sih nic" when I told the story of how I got my hair yellow, like Super Saiyan yellow. Instead she said, "kok seru sih", or something along those lines.

It feels like I find someone from the same planet as me.

Okay this is my navel-gazing, I haven't do anything that resembles "approaching" yet, but I want to know her better, at worst I have new friends where my jokes land 90% of the time. And I consider, "nyebelin abis" with a little smile as my joke works.

Do I put my life on this? No, heck no, people who rerouting all of his/her emotional and physical resources to get to know someone is weird, your priority is your own life, when getting to know someone gets harder than you can tolerate, whatever your toleration level is, you need to stop.

I consider this as a side project, whenever the chance arrive to get to know her, I'll use it.

If there aren't any, I still have 4 games I haven't play yet on my backlog.