Strangers

I want to write

I needed to write

Week 2 of new job, now that I have too much time, I'm doing one punch man training.

In theory, it's 100 sit ups, 100 push ups, 100 squats and 10k run everyday.

Alas, i haven't train my body in decades.

So it's whatever my body can handle, but I have to do it every day.

As of today, it's 100 squats, 50 sit ups, and 10 push ups everyday.

I can do 100 squats but divide it by 5x20, I use my legs everyday, so easier for my body.

Sit ups is 25x2

Push ups tho, apparently my upper body strength is shit.

All in all, I have to enjoy the process, it's been a week and to be honest I can't see any differences other than I can increase my daily workouts, on the first day I only did like 70 squats and 20 sit ups, also 5 push ups.

Also I don't see my stomach got any flatter, but hopefully it'll be flat by the 6th weeks.

This might be the first thing in my life that I have to physically force myself to do it.

Se666an

A lady call my name with affectionate tone and now I'm willing to do shit that I usually will try to find 100000 reason not to do.

Seriously, "tolong ya mas nicooo"

Bodo amat, but seriously.

I'll bring anything you ask as long it's reasonably cost and reasonably sized, I don't have the money for expensive shit and I don't have the car to bring you big stuff.

Pompa balon? Yaelah I'll bring you every pompa I have in my house.

I pity people who failed to recognize that I'm a bucin through and through.

You just have to ask me nicely and I'll do it, call my name affectionately and I'll spend the rest of the night thinking of you while opening your WhatsApp profile picture, while listening to any romantic songs I have in my disposal.

Then I'll intellectuallize everything, calculate almost every possible outcome, where 90% of the outcome are failures, then I'll decide not to do anything.

But even if you call me with every known affectionate nickname available to human civilization, I still won't meet you on Friday rush hour, might as well kill me.

But I'll bring you pompa balon.

Oyo Oyo Oyo

When you got pushed to the limit of your sanity, you started to prioritise things you want in life.

Is it the feeling of having power over people? That I need to feel that people need me? (I kinda had that)

Is it the money? (don't have that)

Or time? (don't have that either)

I survived just based on an idea that these people need me, that I am irreplaceable, and being irreplaceable is good? Right?

But then you try to look at the bigger picture, try to be as objective as possible, how do people/company treat people they think is irreplaceable? They try to make them happy.

I understand that yall got bosses, unless you own the shit, you got bosses above you.

So instead of anger - okay, I got angry a little bit - I've come to the point of acceptance, that in it contains understanding, and disappointment.

I have a certain way I want to live my life.

And I've come to accept that I can not have the life I want if I stay there, so I move here.

No hard feelings on me, just relieved.

And really, wishing them the very best of luck