Fancy

I want a lot of things, a lot of them, the majority of them is possible for me to acquire in my lifetime.

Like Honda civic FD 2007 for example, if I save enough, I can buy it before I'm 35.

But there are things that I probably will never be able to acquire even if I save for the rest of my life,

it's love.

I'm kidding, it's a Nissan GT-R.

Even the oldest R35 is like 1 billion.

And I think I've come to terms with that.

I will not sacrifice my sanity for money so just I can afford a Nissan GT-R.

Even CBR1000RR SP is a pretty long shot, it's like 750million.

So like everything in life, I have a tier of my dream things.

The highest of high is Nissan GT-R for car and CBR1000RR for a bike, but I can live with 2007 Honda Civic FD and a CBR250RR.

See, here's the thing, I don't know how long I would live, so when the opportunity arises to acquire the thing you want, go get it, but with responsibility, I'm not suggesting you go eating ramen just because you want things.

So yeah, I'm buying a new bike, matte black CBR250RR, probably will cover it with white stickers if I have money

What ifs

Sometimes I dreamed of what-ifs, "What if I was a more obedient student?", "What if instead of choosing to stay single and spending my youth on video games, action figures, reading countless Wikipedia articles, I went on a date?", "What if instead of questioning things, I accept it and play along?"

I might end up in a different position, I might work at a bank, graduated with 3+ GPA, married at 25.

But then again I arrived into a conclusion that I end up where I am because I chose to do so.

In simple term, I am what I am - with every single thing that makes me, me, from having a faulty mouth, indifference to status quo, to wearing the same set of clothes every day - is because how I process things internally, that I decided that the way I live my life now is the most effective and efficient for me.

It might not be pretty, nobody in their right mind would choose CBR250RR as a primary mode of transportation when you could get a car with the same amount of money - an old car, fucking old, but a car nonetheless, where you don't have to worry about getting wet in the rain, where you can go on a date wearing fancy clothes without having to worry whether it's going to rain or not.

If I have to give only one advice, is that you do you.

Doing you starts with questioning yourself.

Why am I feel inferior when I'm single? Why am I ashamed when watching a movie at the theatre alone? Why is it weird that I want a sports fairing bike instead of a car?

More often than not, the answer is that there's no answer because life does not have a manual.