HA-burn

i find most of the cosmopolitan love articles would be deemed obsolete if we stopped expecting utopian relationship.

human relationship sucks, we have no control of that. but we can control how high our tolerance are, or how much we would/could tolerate.

if we create a checklist about what we want, our options become very limited. if i want petite, fair skinned east Asian with cute face, my options are limited to SNSD's Sunny.

if we create a checklist about what we don't want - a process of elimination - the options are much much bigger.

let's say i don't want an ignorant, shallow women no matter how cute they really are, my options are pretty varied.

but then again the checklist means jackshit when you're in love, or you're a cynical bastard who believes love is a temporary feeling.

honestly, this post is just my excuse to post sunny's pic, so here's another.

plebs

now that i've finished my 25 article a month and translating job, i'm free -  not that i got other responsibility either - but yeah, i'm free.

thanks to my friend's story about her rich ass boss, plus my dad's meeting with a trust fund manager - literally like in the movies, he manages somebody else's extra money - i found out that rich people, i mean super rich, not those upper middle class with 20+ mill per month income, i'm talking people with USD 1billion+ assets, look at money differently than us peasants.

they think of it as something liquid, they could throw it away or let it pile so their children won't be poor no matter how fucked up they are, or they could lend it to people with a very small interest compared to bank, so others could kickstart their businesses, and pay them back in non-monetary way - tl;dr: they're buying "power"

and the funny thing about the super rich people is they don't flaunt their economic status. yes they use the latest iPhone, drive a 911, and have a credit card without limit, but they do because they could buy it, it's like i'm buying mcdonalds - there are cheaper options, but i want mcdonald and i can afford it - they don't go through difficult leasing process, they buy just because they could afford it.

toyota and range rover holds the same value for them, it's only a matter of taste.

more often than not, they go out of their way to connect with us plebs, because if we're talking about minority, they're the real minority, the good ones though.

so if you find a person who flaunt their expensive bags, they could afford it, they're probably rich, not that rich.

**********

If money wasn't a concern , what profession would you want to have?

pertanyaan paling nggaplek'i, bikin saya inget cita-cita yang gagal dengan alasan "ndak menghasilkan uang" dan kemudian kuliah di jurusan tanpa fokus dan lulus dengan pengetahuan hanya sedikit lebih banyak dari anak SMA.

if i stand my ground and transfer to graphic design, granted i wouldn't meet any of my college friends, hell i could probably reach 90kgs thanks to overnight, shitty foods, and no weekly football and yearly dodgeball tournament. but i probably would earn money right off the ground.

specialized field means people are looking for you, granted in the first few years, the money won't be that good, but after that, you could name your price.

my major? international relations, with focus on international trade relations, it might as well be export-import management. in those 146 credits, i learn management, economics, law, politics, and philosophy - i graduate as a bachelor of social science + medium knowledge of freudian worldview.

fuck that shit.

the problem with the above question, is we have 2 assumptions; a. every career is profitable, but we still have to work to earn the money. unemployed = no money. b. government gave us minimal living cost - cheap housing and cheap food, but we don't have to worry about those two - but not all job are profitable - entry level designer pays less than entry level lawyer.

well, whatever the circumstances are, i'll probably chose a job where i spent less energy and less effort but get a good money. i'm not saying i'll half ass my job, i still full ass my job, but that job in general require less effort.

of course a lawyer would get paid 1000 dollars, the study is hard and the work hours is mental.

i'll chose a librarian at a private library, 600 dollars a month in Jakarta for arranging books and contacting publisher for new books? i'll take it.  *for context, the minimum wages is 250 dollars a month in Jakarta*

it's about amount of effort being less, and the money being more.

you'll probably wondering why a librarian could get so much money, the answer is simple; librarian is not a prestigious job, and in a society like jakarta - mostly java - where prestige means everything, where you prefer works as a marketing for 300 dollars a month instead of a translator working from home. because having a job at a company more often than not defines who you are. you can't brag about translating 18 pages document at home, alone, in shorts, while listening to Hozier, and getting paid more than a lot of people's monthly salary.

"what do you do now?"

"now i work at sony Indonesia, bla bla bla bla bla, how about you?"

"i translate shit with the help of the mighty google translate"

a lot of people will probably pissed at you, the million dollar question is why don't they do it?

and now i started to think i could take this translating job seriously.

ya rovv

nemu subreddit r/childfree. intinya isi dari subreddit itu adalah orang-orang yang gamau punya anak.

gapunya anak/menunda punya anak karena financial reasons bahkan too selfish to spend 20+ years educating a child, itu masih bisa dimengerti.

tapi sampe segitunya sampe ngadain childfree wedding itu fucked up banget.

come on, wedding with kids, how bad could it get.

toh pas akadnya, jarang yang bawa anak.

tapi stance saya soal punya anak belum berubah sih. kalau saya punya anak di canada, saya pasti baik-baik saja, karena beban financialnya cuma tambahan makanan dan baju, sekolah dan rumah sakit ditanggung negara. kalo disini, sebelum saya punya gaji at least 15juta rupiah perbulan, sorry-sorry kalo kata suju,

stance saya soal resepsi gede-gedean juga ga berubah. ga masuk logika saya menghabiskan 500juta buat satu malam, beli action figure sampe 500juta juga masih bisa saya duitin lagi minimal balik modal.

kalo misalnya nanti saya nelen ludah sendiri kemudian jatuh cinta kemudian setuju menikah, ngga ada ceritanya saya menghabiskan tabungan saya buat pamer kalau saya sudah halal buat gejol.

gurindam

can't sleep, and i love melissa benoist - supergirl hype train, doh - kemudian follow instagram.

ngomong2 instagram, pattern instagram artis-artis luar sana tuh lucu, foto2 di akun mereka lebih mirip foto2 orang biasa yang happens to work as an artist, sedangkan curut-curut jakarta kalo foto set up-nya bisa nyaingin scene truknya joker kebalik di The Dark Knight.

lah ini instagramnya mbak mel, an actual public figure, isinya ga lebih bagus dari instagram adek saya, isinya IG mbak mel cuma anjing dan teman-teman, gapake kutipan pula lagi.

kalo IG artis korea lebih ketebak, selfie doang isinya. ya soalnya mereka kan idol, bukan artis. iya, buat saya mereka adalah hasil rekayasa image dari ahensinya. image mereka dibuat sedemikian rupa, ada yang girl next-door, ada yang sexy, ada yang baik-baik, bikin lagu sendiri juga jarang, kalaupun ada ya ga jadi single utama.

by that standard ya, menurut saya, beyonce ga lebih artis dari after school juga. saya lebih bisa nerima lagu yang ditulis sendiri dan dinyanyiin sendiri tapi isinya cuma "she loves me yeah yeah yeah" seribu kali, daripada lagu ditulis orang yang isinya "who run the world" kali seribu.

tapi ya "pantas" memang ngga pernah ada hubungannya sama realita. kalau mau ngomongin pantas, liverpool masuk CL bukan MU. kalau ngomongin pantas, yang jadi presiden orang yang memang ngerti masalah indonesia apa dan punya solusi - minimal bayangan solusi deh - soal gimana mecahinnya.

toh kenyataannya koneksi dan keberuntungan berperan lumayan besar juga.

kemudian saya nganggur, disuruh nulis soal extrovert ga bisa, saya introvert mas'e. akhirnya berkutat nyoba2 sotosop sembari tutorial dari youtube-an. proyek hari ini bikin boxart buat MAFEX batman aye, biar kesannya kayak maenan high end macem hot toys.

maenannya ini.

maunya boxartnya begini.

MAFEX ini salah satu contoh kasus seberapa di tai2innya konsumen action figure amrik, tapi lucunya, konsumen amrik tuh semacam punya price ceiling buat koleksinya. kalau keliling forum suka ada yang bilang "that's great, but more than 25bucks i won't buy it"

entah emang financially responsible, atau ya suka koleksi dan puas dengan kualitas kacrut action figure lokalan.

kayak silit.

bisa dimengerti sih, di US sana harganya selisih agak jauh. movie masters batman yang kayak silit itu USD15, nah MAFEX yang harus di import langsung dari jepun/china bisa kena USD45, selisih 30, bisa dapet 2 movie masters lagi.

TAPI DISINI? ya nyilit, yang dari amrik mahal karena dollar mahal, yang dari jepang mahal karena dari jepangnya nambah aksesoris, kurs rupiah yen mah nggak ada pelirnya.

kasus terakhir tuh avengers age of ultron, mark 43 yang piyak silit itu 450rb, yang keluaran bandai dari seri SHFiguarts 650rb, "cuma" nambah 200rb, tapi bonusnya nggak "cuma"

piyak silit yang plastiknya bisa leot2 trus masih bekas molding ini 450rb

plastik beneran, aksesoris bejibun, sendi ga keliatan, dan cat metalik, "cuma" nambah 200rb

dilematis.

tapi produsen US yang pantas dibeli cuma satu, DC Collectibles. 

huftbangets

yaudahlah, mau tidur, brb nabung, mau beli MAFEX joker.

freon AC abis

dari kecil kita disuapi kalau kita itu spesial, one in a million, which means there are other 7000 people like me. bukan hanya sebagai individu, sebagai spesies pun kita diberi tahu kalau kita spesial, kalau bumi dan seisinya ada buat kita, kalau tuhan akan sejenak melupakan mereka yang sedang kelaparan, demi menjawab doa kita yang lagi pengen iPhone6.

secara individu, manusia bisa keluar dari dogma ini, dogma bahwa manusia sebagai spesies dan individu adalah spesial, bahwa dalam skala kosmos, kita ini penting.

menurut saya pribadi, ide bahwa manusia, yang kalau salah makan ini akan mencret ini, adalah mahluk sempurna, adalah ide yang sombongnya minta ampun.

banyak sebenarnya ide-ide yang kalau dibuang, bisa membuat seseorang jadi lebih baik.

salah satu yang paling nggateli buat saya adalah ide kalau loyalitas - terutama kepada sebuah ide - adalah segalanya. call me selfish and pragmatic, tapi dunia ini dinamis. hanya orang yang otaknya kurang bener yang tetap berpegang teguh pada sebuah ide yang jelas dibuktikan salah. kalau belum dibuktikan, boleh dicoba, tapi kalau jelas-jelas 97% scientist dan researcher yang berkutat di bidang climate change, percaya dan punya bukti yang kuat tentang climate change, dan kamu memilih tidak percaya karena kamu pribadi nggak pernah ngalamin, itu bodoh namanya.

saya belum pernah sakit kanker, tapi saya percaya kanker, geblek.

hal lain yang paling bikin saya pengin bikin saya menghilang bak bruce wayne di TDKR adalah pemikiran kalau semua orang mau punya pacar/pasangan hidup/anak. saya nggak, dan saya nggak harus menjelaskan pilihan hidup saya, meskipun saya bisa.

oke saya jelaskan.

jatuh cinta itu ledakan hormon, yang kemudian mengambil alih logika, yang kalau tidak di eksekusi langsung itu nafsu, akan hilang at least setelah 3 bulan. kalau sudah pacaran, ada siklus ribut besar 6 bulan, kalau sudah nikah, ada siklus ribut besar 5 tahunan, kayak banjir jakarta.

it's just too much effort to deal with that shit, i probably could channel all of the energy to advance my career, or to sleep. and i will have more money to myself - hey, if i ends up poor, i don't have extra responsibilty, if i ends up rich, i'll have it all for myself.

kemudian aturan tidak tertulis tentang dunia dating, yang seperti layaknya agama, masing-masing faksi punya interpretasinya sendiri. 

i concluded, it's just too much effort and commitment.

but again, prove me wrong people.

the best aspect of pessimism is that either i'm right, or i'm pleasantly surprised.

ps: for my single friends, don't be fucking sad. there's no 100% guarantee that you will be happier in the long term if you have bf/gf, and there's always a possibility that your offspring will be another average joe yang menuh2in bumi aja.

semoga UMR

kesedihan terbesar saya adalah fakta bahwa teman-teman terdekat saya kebanyakan mikirnya ga berkembang dari jaman nenek saya ngunyah sirih, kalau hidup ini semacam balapan yang ujungnya cuma mati, dimakan cacing.

saya sedih, karena memang saya berkali-kali mengingatkan kalau dunia ini bukan game, kalau kamu ga harus lulus kuliah by 21 dan meniqah by 25. saya pernah debat kusir dan dilawan satu geng cuma karena saya bilang dengan terang-terangan kalau hubungan pacaran itu transaksional, ayolah, dari awal memang begitu kan, kalau kamu suka saya/saya suka kamu tapi tidak terbalas, berarti kan harga ga cocok, harga dalam artian bibit bebet bobot.

saya sedih karena saya kepalang pesimis di usia 24 dan teman-teman saya masih happy go lucky dengan hidup mereka, merasa seolah-olah mereka akan jadi next Elon Musk by 30.

karena jujur saja kalau lagi kesetanan, rasanya saya mau going off the grid saja, hilang dari semua jejaring sosial dan meninggalkan blog ini. karena orang-orang terlalu give a shit.

my sister always said it's as if i stopped trying to get people's approval, that one day i just snapped and said "fuck it", and goes to class wearing souvenir shirt with "amsterdam" on it. that one day i decided to wear whatever comfortable and couldn't care less about what's in or not. that suddenly i have no problem going to kemang village wearing sandals.

as long as law allows it, i won't give a shit.